How embarassing to be back writing after almost 2 years with the same issues!! OMG!!
Do I dare even continue hitting the keys on this board??!! Or do I just blame the people around me?? I could be mature about the whole thing and say it's me, or the lack there of me.. or I could be the immature me, and say f*** it it's them. Well, in the midst of sadness I'm blaming THEM.
I will say the positive in this is getting me to write again. I love the sound of the keys, and how my fingers feel when I hit them. I love how there is no rough draft, albeit some may feel there should have been... but nope there isn't and like reality TV there will never be. Like life no do overs, no rough drafts just jumping in the pool...
So to all of your surprise since my last write I've met my share of men, some nice, some cute, some toothless, some overweight, I won't judge. I did just get out of a relationship with one.. not too sure yet why.. I guess he could argue that he didn't like me enough, but I'd argue back that that is so not true. Not because I'm vain, and awesome, but because I'm smart, yep, I'm still that smart extremely intuitive girl that left this blog cold almost two years ago.. Actually I'm smarter, still sad, and miserable, Eeyore ish... but smart as shit!!
Intuition, what a crazy thing!! If you can hone in on yours, I highly recommend it!! Highly!!
Ask questions, meditate ( i do not) , find silence everyday, listen, feel others emotions, walk in their shoes even if only metaphorically... it helps. It builds your intuitive skills, then listen to them!! This is where I fall short many times.. why would that surprise me?? I don't listen to anyone, why would I listen to intuition?? But, as your friend I recommend it! It is a little scary to be so intuitive, it's like not wanting to hear shit from your mom, or your best friend but there you can walk away, hang up the phone, ignore the text... not intuition... it STAYS!! It doesn't want to hear your bullshit go away crap... nope, it does not go away. You can't hide in the bathroom, or run 15 miles to get away.. it just is. For some it is very strong, that would be me. A blessing?? A curse??? Im not sure yet. The sucky part is when you know you're right but no one cares.
The fun part will be when my intuitive skills graduate to psychic abilities....watch them listen then!!!
As I sat here for all of 10 minutes typing this, it turned out to be about nothing, like I knew it would.. but it's a start, it's my way back in, my way of pulling my sad shitty self up and starting over...
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