Sleep?????

Insomnia sucks!  I have no idea why I get it, but when I do it sucks. It sucks for  many different reasons.
1. The anxiety.  My head races, my heart races, sometimes I feel like I want to pull the hair out of my head, sometimes I actually do pull my hair, or snap a rubber band on my wrist. Two methods a therapist once taught me to deal with the anxiety. Do they work? Sometimes.  My mind is an amazing thing, it can come up with a zillion crazy thoughts in less time then it takes to blink.  They scare me sometimes. Mostly they are about my boys, bad things that could but probably won't happen to them. This will cause extreme amounts of anxiety. And the result? Not sleeping.  I hate anxiety, I hate panic attacks, I hate the dark.

2. Noises. Do you realize how many noises happen in the middle of the night?  I guess if you don't have insomnia you don't. Well there are many, and no ADT system is going to protect me, not in the dark.

3.Makes me wish someone were sleeping next to me. Depending on when I have insomnia decides who it is I want sleeping with me. Right now, it's just one particular person...

4.One remote. OK, this one is not self explanatory. We have 5 televisions in this house with one working remote. WHAT??  I know, it's ridiculous, and probably my fault for not making them pay more attention to where they put the remotes. But with one remote in the living room, I can't turn the TV on in my bedroom, stupid cable boxes need the remote. This would require me to go downstairs, one, I dont want to and 2 look at #'s 1 and 2  to understand better why I don't want to go downstairs.  Besides if I do get the remote I'll have to watch stupid infomercials on stupid exercise equipment, or the woman who invented those little plastic things to hold your bra up better. No thank you.

5. I feel like a zombie somedays.. then by 10:30 pm I get this damn second wind!  I don't want it anymore, I'm old, and I have responsibilities that need to be taken care of during the day now. I can't be a zombie!

6. By the time I feel myself falling into a deep sleep it's usually  5:30  and ugghh I'm up at 7.

Insomnia Sucks!