*Sometimes I wish I weren't so smart, so intuitive. Wish I were stupid, naive, ignorant..just sometimes... Me

*It would be so nice if somethings made sense for a change-Alice; Alice in Wonderland

*Shut the front door.... Oreo

*Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind-Dr. Seuss

*If you think it's about you, it probably is even if I didn't mean it to be... Me

*When there's an elephant in the room introduce him- Randy Pausch

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Lunchmeat and Liars

Two things I really dislike, almost hate.. lunchmeat and liars.  More specifically I just hate the term lunchmeat.

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York.  I've lived in PA for 3 years now..I find it strange how a state only an hour and 40 min away can sometimes seem so foreign.  Now, don't get me wrong I have been eating lunchmeat for as long as I could chew sandwiches.. however, we call them coldcuts, a word I never questioned. I am not saying that it is such a nice term either, as if analyzed it could almost sound like the cold cut of the animal.. but lunchmeat???  I apologize but it just sounds so unappetizing. Another word that is not used in PA is hero, unless you are referring to a man who leaps tall buildings.  If you're from NY you know what a 6ft. hero is.  When I first moved here and wanted to find a hero for my son's Communion my friends laughed. "A hero???"  "You guys eat heros in NY?"  Yep, heard all the jokes. I learned it's a sub, or a hoagie, ok whatever, it really shouldn't matter, but it does.
 Boars Head, a brand of COLDCUTS that I have always eaten is almost obsolete out here, except in one Supermarket, I think we had to try everything in the display case to find ham that my kids would eat. As for bologna, OMG  never heard of so many different types! My mom attempted to buy bologna for us ..ONCE, it was impossible... who knew that there were so many different types of bologna.. gone were the days of the simple bologna sandwich on white bread.  So strange.

Another oddity I found was when someone passes away in NY we go to a Wake. In PA we go to a viewing.. Ok, I know it should be simple to get used to this, but really it isn't.. I hate the word viewing, because as soon as I say it I picture the unfortunate person in the casket, but if I say Wake people look at me funny.  So I'm trying to pick up this "new language", it is taking sometime.

As for my accent, well it's still there, yet slowly leaving, word by word... When I first moved here I was asked to say so many words it was ridiculous, yet amusing.  I have actually become very self conscious of how I say the word water. I don't think it ever comes out the same way twice now.  Also any word with the "or " sound, will always sound Brooklyn, such  as order (awder), gorgeous (gawgeous), water(watuh), charger (charguh),. and you know what I like it. I don't want to lose it. My boys have lost theirs. It makes me sad.. They laugh at me now too.  If I get annoyed or mad my "accent" comes back, but who wants to stay mad all the time... which brings me to the other thing I really hate.... Liars.

I despise them, hate them. I have met them in all forms, women, men(especially ;)), employers, friends, even children- (although, I don't hold them accountable all the time).  Honesty,  I am very honest, almost brutally. I wasn't always. I was not a liar , but I did sugarcoat, I feel at my age sugarcoating is over. Tell it like it is, say what you must, maybe try not to be hurtful, but let's face it honesty sometimes hurts even when we don't mean it to.  Liars get caught. Even the best of them, even if it's days, months, years later  they get caught. Liars make me mean, make me vengeful.. and I think that's why I dislike them. I dislike how I respond to them, how they make me react.
 I think the worst lies come from the people we think we like the most, because they are the most hurtful in the end.   I 've learned this during my divorce, and now during my  dating life.
During my divorce I started with the sugar, and ended with brutal honesty, it was hard but worked better in the end.
Dating, well lying never works. It is sometimes called "changed my mind, was drunk, sent you the wrong text, jumped in to quick, just not ready, my ex wife fucked me up, checking my mail, chef took off so I have to fill in", I could go on, but I think you get the picture .  Honesty in dating is hard.  You really have to be sure before you open your mouth and make commitments. I consider myself to be very aware of lies, even if  I seem not to be. I was a liar, a manipulator, story teller, but not anymore.  I find it easier to be honest, it works for me,  it has hurt me too but I prefer it in the long run.
This is not to say I have not met some great guys, I have, and I consider myself lucky that I have. I am on a journey, looking for "him" , not the H I M   Lady Gaga refers to just the one for me, the one I want to be happy to see.. one that will be honest with me all the time.  Maybe even someone who won't be afraid to order me a 6ft hero with Boars Head coldcuts   :)

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